Album Review: Double Vision (1978)

Foreigner provides a pretty consistent arena rock album with Double Vision. The first side leads in with two great tracks "Hot Blooded" (with some of the worst lyrics ever-- "You don't have to read my mind / To know what I have in mind") and "Blue Morning Blue Day," followed by a pretty strong set to finish off Side A--most notably, "Back Where You Belong" with a fun display of some neat liquid guitar tones and great analog synthesizers. Unfortunately, other than "Double Vision," Side B is lackluster in comparison. With shameless performances, huge guitars, and just a touch of synthesizers, Foreigner's Double Vision is arena rock gold.

7/10

Leviathan (1989)

Peter Weller gives a great performance in this deep-sea incarnation of The Thing (with hints of Alien). With a great supporting cast and very polished direction, the film is suspenseful and interesting until the very end when the surviving crew members escape the undersea mining facility... and that's where everything goes to shit! Luckily, the embarrassing footnote of an ending (after the climax, mind you) is not enough to destroy the complete integrity of the film and is more humorous/idiotic than anything else. Slick, atmospheric, and exciting with fantastic special effects, Leviathan is worth at least a peek.

7/10

Screamers (1995)

Screamers is a pretty entertaining take on Philip K Dick's short story "Second Variety" that falls short. Like Sphere (1998), Screamers is a decent sci-fi flick that is destroyed by its lame ending. The first three-quarters of the film are a solid 7, but the last 10-15 minutes were so horrible (think Hollow Man) that I detracted it a point. The visual effects are quite good most of the time, and there are some great stop-motion effects. Watch the film if you're into Peter Weller, stop-motion, or you're just out of great sci-fi films to watch. Otherwise, I suggest you skip it.

6/10

Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension, The (1984)

The film follows the adventures of Peter Weller as the multi-talented captain of a crew of kooky characters. With a great supporting cast consisting of Jeff Goldblum, John Lithgow, Christopher Lloyd, and Clancy Brown, one would think nothing could go wrong, but the film makes so many off-the-wall decisions with its plot and characters that you end up with one big mess. It has everything going for it, colorful characters, great actors, great 80s special effects, a unique concept, and a good soundtrack, but unfortunately it's missing a cohesiveness and focus that left me more confused than entertained.

6/10

North Shore (1987)

Airhead surfer boy Rick from Arizona goes to Hawaii to learn to surf the waves properly, but he runs in with the locals and the professional surfers. Good god this movie is silly. It contains every single cheesy thing about 80s movies, and shockingly enough, it works. The plot is of the sport film formula variety, but the characters are colorful (aside from Rick, who luckily was bearable, but he's a dipshit), the dialogue is hilarious, and the surfing scenes are TOTALLY RAD. But the icing on the cake here is the devotedly and unabashedly 80s soundtrack butting its head in everywhere. From the terrible cover of "Funky Town" to the "Nature of the Beast," the songs pound away without consideration or apology to the sufferers in the audience.

8/10 For being so unbelievably 80s.

Point Break (1991)

I guess it's Kathryn Bigelow day!

Point Break is probably the closest thing to an adrenaline junkie movie I've seen. When the tagline is "100% Adrenaline," they aren't joking! Surfing, skydiving, and bank robbing all in the same film! Patrick Swayze plays it cool as usual, while Keanu Reeves gives a highly entertaining (it's Keanu Reeves!) performance as an undercover F-B-I AGENT. This is a must see film. The action and style are heightened to unbelievable (possibly unprecedented?) levels! Despite being released during the High Eighties, I would argue that this is one of the earliest distinctly 90s movies. Bigelow's Point Break is an action masterpiece, especially compared with the other films of hers I have seen, Strange Days (1995) and Near Dark (1987).

8/10

Strange Days (1995)

Kathryn Bigelow directs this Cameron-penned vehicle that aims for high concept but ultimately fails. Cameron's influence is painfully obvious: the film has clunky dialogue, runs for two and a half hours, and gets lost amidst its layers of plots. Every line Angela Bassett delivers is said with such a demanding conviction that I eventually thought she could not act otherwise. Juliette Lewis is painful to watch. Ralph Fiennes does as well as he can to hold the film together, but while the film is a visual feast, it's not enough to make up for the film's other problems. This film, like Bigelow's Near Dark (1987), has a great concept but fails in the execution.

6/10

Cyborg (1989)

From our favorite 80s production company, Cannon, comes Cyborg! Jean-Claude Van Damme stars as some kind of generic loner mercenary-type who randomly befriends some worthless frazzy-haired 80s girl. The cyborg hardly plays any part in the film despite apparently being the main plot. The characters are stiff and completely undeveloped. The villain always shouts. The fights are incoherent. This is a film that is truly painful to watch. I couldn't believe that this sloppy mess of a film was given to us by Albert Pyun, the director of the 1982 classic The Sword and the Sorcerer.

As a side note: Mr Pyun, even though I thought this movie was very poorly made, I still hold you in very high regards.

2/10

Art of War (2000)

Ridiculous political action/thriller starring Wesley Snipes as a fringe-CIA man-for-hire who gets framed and stuck in the middle of a big conspiracy. Heavy handed politics, lack of clarity in presenting the characters, and poor acting plague the film. Of the principle actors, Snipes probably gives the best performance, which says a lot. His companion/hostage/partner is an annoying Chinese woman whose dialogue is moronically meta, often blabbing analysis about macho bullshit (thank you Rae Dawn Chong). The film must have been trying to separate itself from the run-of-the-mill B-rate thriller, but sadly her presence was more agitating than enlightening. This one is not worth the film it was printed on.

5/10

Lifeforce (1985)

Starting off really strong as a Quatermass-style science fiction film, it quickly devolves into a space-vampire-zombie mashup. The film is moderately entertaining, and the scenes that work work well, but the scenes that don't work are boring or painful to watch. The male lead was the reason for most of the bad scenes. Luckily, there's a good period of time in the first half of the film where he is not present. The high point of this film is the special effects work. This film is only slightly better than the typical Golan-Globus Cannon film (who set the bar for consistently low quality 80s films). Also present is an inappropriate but by-no-means bad score from Henry Mancini. Oh yeah, the space vampire is a naked chick.

6/10

Son of Frankenstein (1939)

Basil Rathbone gives a horribly over-the-top performance as Wolf Von Frankenstein, the son and heir to the Frankenstein from the first two films. Why he decided to play this part so enthusiastically baffles me. He became very grating. Boris Karloff gives a quiet but altogether unnoteworthy performance as the monster. His movements were a little shorter, a little jerkier than in the first two films. The piece de resistance, though, is Bela Lugosi's wonderful performance as Ygor. If anything, Lugosi's performance as Ygor is the only reason needed to watch this.

6/10

Blind Fury (1989)

Rutger Hauer stars in this fantastic B-movie gem as a blind Vietnam vet who has been taught how to swordfight. This film is ridiculous! You've got a car chase with a blind man driving, designer drugs, a snotty little kid (who is in the whole damn movie), a terrible synthesizer-driven score, and some really great swordfighting action. The supporting cast of cronies is absolutely hilarious. Homoerotic undertones abound and general creepiness from Hauer, this film is a classic of 80s action!

8/10

Hollow Man (2000)

Paul Verhoeven's modern take on the invisible man story. The writing is terrible, the acting questionable about half the time, and the last act is an atrocity of Hollywood cliches that consists entirely of forced action scenes, explosions, and other assorted unbelievable events. But it was highly entertaining! Verhoeven delivers a very polished film that has great editing (Mark Goldblatt) and special effects. For being a CG-heavy film from 2000, the effects don't look all that bad. About a third of the effects have dated poorly (most of the 3D body models), but the smoke and water effects are highly creative and still look pretty good.

6/10. Had the film not devolved into the silly ending that it did, it might have turned out to be a sci-fi classic. Okay, maybe not.

In the Mouth of Madness (1994)

An interesting film with a strong lead performance by Sam Neill. John Carpenter steeps the film in atmosphere so thick you could cut it with a knife. Taking great influence from Lovecraft, the film succeeds in being crazy, moody, and altogether fascinating. It was really nice seeing David Warner. The special effects are fantastic but seem almost sparingly used compared to the number of abstract shock sequences Carpenter throws in.

7/10

Resurrected, The (1992)

Also known as Shatterbrain. A bit slow, a bit strange. The acting is borderline painful to watch from a couple of the actors. Based on The Case of Charles Dexter Ward, this film is one of the better Lovecraft efforts ever released. Although released direct to video, the film is very polished. (I suspect it failed to find a distributor.) The second of two films Dan O'Bannon directed (the first being the excellent Return of the Living Dead), the film is solid but not nearly as strong as his previous effort. The atmosphere, mood, and pace of the film successfully evokes Lovecraft (something very hard to do and still make a good movie), but something is still not quite right. Maybe I'll just have to chalk it up to its shifty Lovecraftian nature. For a low-budget effort, the special effects during the climax of the film are especially noteworthy.

6/10

Warlock (1989)

Solidly entertaining witchcraft thriller. Julian Sands gives an excellent performance as a warlock who escapes 17th century Boston to 1988 California where he begins a quest to find the three pieces of the Satanic Bible. Richard E Grant gives an equally charming performance as the witch hunter sent after him. Effects were great most of the time. There is nothing like 80s animated effects. The thing about sorcery films is that they normally fail to satisfy, but Warlock manages to provide pretty much everything you need: creative spells, potions, unorthodox methods, graveyards, play between holy and unholy, and Satanic magic. Yum.

7/10

Man From Planet X, The (1951)

Atmospheric little science fiction horror film from the early 1950s. I saw the alien in a book of movie horror monsters once, and he looked horrifying. Sadly, he's not nearly as menacing in the film as he is in that picture, but he is still very creepy. Directed by Edgar G. Ulmer whose excellent Black Cat (1934) should have rocketed him to horror director stardom. Unfortunately, he was stuck doing low-budget efforts for pretty much his entire career.

7/10

Stuff, The (1985)

Fantastic horror-comedy about a white substance marketed as dessert that is hazardous to your health. Michael Moriarty gives an excellent performance as a corporate saboteur. While definitely done on a low-budget, this film managed to be extremely entertaining with a good dash of satire. I can't help but feel slightly guilty that I watched this movie with a belly full of McDonalds.

7/10

Q (1982)

Entertaining B-fare with some dodgy special effects and a fun/annoying (I can't decide which, possibly both?) performance by Michael Moriarty as a small time crook. David Carradine and Richard Roundtree star as cops trying to find Quetzalcoatl, a giant winged serpent, who is wreaking havoc on New York city. A bit slow at times, but overall it's a good time.

6/10

Nighthawks (1981)

Sylvester Stallone stars as a NY cop who has to take down European terrorist Wulfgar played by Rutger Hauer. Billy Dee Williams plays Sly's partner, but unfortunately his role is squeezed into the margins. The real meat is the play between Sly and Rutger. Excellent score by Keith Emerson. This is more of a psychological crime thriller than an action film, but nevertheless it is a good one.

I'm a Man by Keith Emerson

7/10

Last Man on Earth, The (1964)

Mediocre low-budget horror film based on Matheson's I Am Legend. The plague causes the humans to turn into creatures that have many properties of vampires, the physical ability of zombies, and mental prowess slightly above that of typical zombies (they can talk). Interesting premise but the quality of the film is generally marred by the lack of budget and poor dubbing. None of the characters seem to do anything with much conviction. Even when they are hammering stakes or swinging clubs they look like limp noodles. Skip it unless you're a die-hard Vincent Price fan.

4/10

Arrival, The (1996)

Charlie Sheen non-acts his way through this sci-fi thriller that really isn't all that thrilling. Awkward editing, unrealistic relationships, and characters you just don't give a damn about coupled with a plot that devolves into typical conspiracy-action trash all adds up to a rather lackluster experience. The special effects suck, too.

4/10

Altered States (1980)

William Hurt carries this sci-fi film as a driven, brilliant scientist who experiments with hallucination into dangerous territory. Much of the script is taken directly from the Chayefsky-penned novel it is based on, and while it is smart, it is way too dense for it's own good. It worked for Network, but it doesn't work here. The story is highly creative and unique, but I found the ending to be a big let down. The ending was partly saved by the brilliant special effects-work. While obviously all practical or visual effects, I felt like some of the special effects were as good as (if not better than) modern CG-aided efforts.

7/10

Captain America: The First Avenger (2011)

Ridiculous from the get-go, Captain America is a flashy adventure film with a great sense of style and period charm that doesn't pretend it is anything more than a silly superhero film. The entire thing is a cheesefest complete with terrible dialogue and ridiculous action scenes, but overall it was balled up into a nice package that was what superhero films should be first and foremost: fun.

7/10

Sphere (1998)

A solid sci-fi effort starring Dustin Hoffman, Sharon Stone, and Samuel L Jackson. Unfortunately, while the premise is interesting and the first 3/4 of the film are entertaining, Sphere peters out in the end with a lackluster and disappointing climax. Once the film starts its attempt to wrap itself up, it devolves into ridiculous camp moments like an idiotic struggle through the "maze of the human mind."

6/10. Read the book instead.

Flash Gordon (1980)

Delightfully campy with a score by Queen. The art direction is probably the best aspect of the film and the special effects are commendable (the sheer amount of effects shots for 1980 is impressive). A thin plot, some terrible dialogue (apparently mostly improvised), and questionable acting makes this ripe cult film fodder, but ultimately, it probably isn't worth your time. That's unfortunate because I thought Max Von Sydow as Emperor Ming was casting gold.

5/10

***Grading Scale

I score films on 10 points. I do not give half points. My rating system on this site will focus first and foremost on how entertaining the film is. Perhaps the film has a 17% rating on Rotten Tomatoes because the writing or the acting was bad. Just because they are critically panned doesn't mean they can't be entertaining.

10=a perfect masterpiece

9=not quite a masterpiece

8=a solid film that exceeds expectations.

7=a solid film that fills time. A 7 is basically a film that is fun but doesn't particularly fail or excel in anything.

6=a film that doesn't quite achieve what it set out to do but is still worth watching for one reason or another.

5=a film that barely satisfies the requirements of a movie on a technical level.

4=a film that bores or is incompetently made

3=a film that bores and is incompetently made.

2=a film that bores, is incompetently made, and makes you upset because it is so poorly made.

1=a film that does all of the above including giving the urge to seriously injure the filmmakers and other involved parties.

Any of the films within the bottom 5 ratings have the ability to make you fall asleep when you are not tired.

Freejack (1992)

Starts off as a great sci-fi actioner starring Emilio Estevez and Mick Jagger, but unfortunately You Can't Always Get What You Want. The second half of the film drags, but it makes a partial recovery in the end by giving a great display of early 90s special effects. From Ronald Shusett (co-author of Alien, Above the Law, and Total Recall), Freejack is a minor science fiction film that is worth a peek if only to see Mick Jagger's and Emilio Estevez's performances.

7/10

***The High Eighties (1986-1993)

The years of 1986-1993 are what I like to call the High Eighties. During these years there was an unusually high number of classic action films released. Previously, other than a select few films like the Star Wars films and Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981), you don't really see the level of polish in action films that you see during the High Eighties. I personally consider Aliens (1986) the film that officially jump-started the era. Schwarzenegger is in his prime, hitting three home runs within these eight years with Predator (1987), Total Recall (1990), and Terminator 2 (1991). Stallone had a milestone classic at the butt-end of the era with Cliffhanger (1993), as well as a couple minor hits with Over the Top (1987) (one of the few decent Cannon Films movies ever made if there is such a thing) and Tango & Cash (1989). You see the rise of Steven Seagal, Jean-Claude Van Damme, and Dolph Lundgren. I would argue that almost all of Seagal's "good" films are contained within the High Eighties starting with Above the Law (1988) and ending with Under Siege (1992). JCVD sees his career started in 1988 with Bloodsport, then he acts in a string of mediocre films until he stars with Dolph Lundgren in Roland Emmerich's awesome low-budget effort Universal Soldier (1992). Dolph Lundgren also stars in a little-known cult gem entitled Showdown in Little Tokyo (1991) which takes the energy of Commando (1985, same director, Mark L Lester) and combines it with the polish and style characteristic of the High Eighties. The High Eighties gave birth to the Paul Verhoeven/science fiction combination with Robocop (1987) and Total Recall (1990) (and later on Starship Troopers (1997)). Most importantly, the High Eighties showed that action movies could be elevated to an artform as is the case with Die Hard (1988), a masterpiece of action cinema, and arguably the greatest action film ever made.

I posit that the High Eighties was effectively ended by the beginning of 90s cinema (another great era in and of itself): Jurassic Park (1993).

***Introduction

Hello. I am Andrew. I've entitled this blog 80s Lightning Review because of my love for 80s lightning special effects (and 80s movies in general) and also because a good majority of the reviews here will be lightning quick--not any longer than a paragraph. I eventually plan to write an occasional long review, but currently the plan is to have short reviews that give you an idea of whether or not you'll want to see the movie. The reviews will mostly consist of (but are not limited to) action and science fiction films from the 1980s and 1990s.

Thanks, and I hope to have some reviews up for you soon!

-Andrew