Dersu Uzala (1975)

This film is a wonderful combination of two things that I love very much: Akira Kurosawa and Soviet cinema. Dersu Uzala, based on the memoir of VK Arseniev, tells the story of a Russian scouting expedition that encounters a nomadic hunter named Dersu while they're mapping out the Ussuri region in the Russian Far East circa 1902. Dersu and Arseniev slowly become friends as they brave the region's natural obstacles. On multiple occasions, they save each others' lives, most notably in a mind-blowing scene in which the two, lost out on the surface of a frozen lake while a snow storm kicks up, must frantically gather up tall grass to build a makeshift shelter before the sun sets. Arseniev watches as Dersu, a normally spry and capable man, begins to deteriorate in his old age and becomes less and less able to carry out the kind of hunting that is required for him to survive his nomadic lifestyle. Dersu Uzala is a biopic shot on a grand scale, but plays out in the quiet relationship between two men as they grow to respect and care for one another despite being almost nothing alike. The first half of the film feels like you're on the adventure with this odd couple through the Far East, facing every obstacle they face. The second half of the film becomes a bit more sullen as the obstacles turn from storms and tigers to Dersu's realization of his deteriorating health and impending death. It's a bitter pill to swallow, but a realistic and thoughtful contemplation on growing old. Despite the terrible quality of the print, including some miserable color shifting which mars the scenes out on the ice, the beauty of Kurosawa's compositions shines through. There's no film that deserves a restoration more than this one, and I envy anyone who has seen a 70mm print. Highly recommended.

10/10

If you are interested in another great film along these lines (Soviet, adventure, man vs nature), I would suggest checking out Mikhail Kalatozov's great and underrated film The Red Tent (1969). It's a bit more structured and action-oriented, and not quite as contemplative as Dersu Uzala, but it's definitely worth watching.

Kindergarten Cop (1990)

Kindergarten Cop is something truly special - a perfect combination of gooey sentimentality and High Eighties polish. Arnold plays a hard-edged narc cop trying to bring the greasy drug lord Cullen Crisp (Richard Tyson, with hair to match his character's name) to justice. Arnold discovers that Crisp's ex-wife and son reside in a small Oregon town, so he and a former teacher-turned-detective O'Hara go undercover to find the wife to get her to testify. Arnold is forced to take O'Hara's substitute teaching place when she comes down with the flu, and hilarity ensues when brawny manly man is overwhelmed by cute little childrens. On paper, this film sounds like an absurd, forced attempt to combine an 80s action flick with a fish-out-of-water comedy - but somehow the collision of square muscle-ness and circle kindergarten-ness is handled with enough charm (and about as much grace as an Arnold vehicle can be handled) to make it really work. So much so that Arnold's pride and protectiveness of his kindergarteners as he learns to tame the classroom becomes a far more interesting and touching story than the action elements that return in the third act. The film certainly has its weaknesses, a villain duo that's not all that interesting, a third act that's not quite as exciting as its first two, some humor that seems misplaced now (and may have seemed misplaced even back in 1990), but somehow the unlikely duo of Arnold and kids is a strong enough glue-stick to keep the film mostly in one piece. Kindergarten Cop always sucks me in whenever it's on television and then proceeds to take a straight shot at my heart.

8/10

Shuttered Room, The (1967)

The Shuttered Room, by all accounts, should have been much better than it was. Carol Lynley and Gig Young star in this piece based on a Lovecraft/Derleth short story, but the film leaves behind its Mythos roots in favor of a more conventional mystery plot: Susannah Whateley (Lynley) returns to her rural childhood town with her rich husband to use her long-deceased parents' old mill as a summer cottage. A family curse is supposedly afoot, and a mystery lingers about what horror lurks in the shuttered room connecting house and mill. Lynley, an actress I've never really cared much for, plays the part no different from what I remember in other pictures - fragile, doe-eyed, stilted. Young plays her rich, older (MUCH OLDER) husband who has a Thunderbird and a knack for karate - this sounds like it ought to contribute more camp factor than it does, but sadly it does not. A somewhat redeeming factor is a pre-Devils Oliver Reed (employing his dreadful American accent) playing a lascivious country boy hellbent on getting with Lynley... whom I believe was also his character's first cousin. Basil Kirchin's jazz-steeped score is unsettling and interesting if not a bit out of place at times (he would go on to use a similar style to much better effect for Robert Fuest's camp masterpiece The Abominable Dr Phibes (1971) starring Vincent Price). While the production is pretty slick, the reveal at the end is rather unexciting - especially for those expecting something Lovecraftian - and getting to that point is a bit of a chore. I would only recommend this one to die-hard Oliver Reed fans, or Lovecraft cinema completists.

5/10