Kiss the Girls and Make Them Die aka Se Tutte le Donne del Mondo (1966)

Kiss the Girls and Make Them Die is a lighthearted spy spoof comedy in the vein of Dino De Laurentiis' other comic book outings in the 1960s (ie Danger: Diabolik, Barbarella). Matt Connors stars as American secret agent Kelly, working to uncover a hairbrained scheme to sterilize the United States by a grinning horndog maniac Conrad Veidt impersonator (Raf Vallone). The plot is rather similar to Moonraker, which didn't come out for another decade and a half. Connors is a bit boring, but he's okay. Terry-Thomas provides the comic relief--as if the film really needed any. As far as comic relief goes though, Terry-Thomas is as good as you can get, and I love him for it. The film plays out with tongue firmly placed in cheek, including some pretty childish gags--slipping on a banana peel, for example--but it kept my attention. The real star of the picture was the music by Mario Nascimbene which is equal parts bossa nova and '60s Italo-soundtrack. Kiss the Girls and Make Them Die is a comic book movie the way comic book movies should be made--fun first, questions later.

6/10

Danger: Diabolik (1968)

Charmingly cheesy, Danger: Diabolik is an Italian comic book movie produced and directed by schlock masters Dino de Laurentiis and Mario Bava, respectively. Diabolik (John Phillip Law) thwarts the police force every step of the way as he heists all sorts of goodies--$10 million, an emerald necklace, and a 20-ton ingot of gold!--for his gorgeous girlfriend and sidekick Eva (Marisa Mell). The production is quite lavish, employing a plethora of neat camera tricks, grandiose set designs, and elaborate matte paintings. The score by Ennio Morricone rips through the film, with acid-drenched guitars and the loungey yet somewhat Bondian theme song "Deep Deep Down." The combined efforts of Bava, de Laurentiis, (and Morricone) result in a very stylish, garishly colorful, and fun outing. But as is the trend with Bava, style takes precedent over substance. Despite all of the great music and visuals, the acting falls pretty flat, not aided whatsoever by a sometimes dubious dub and a pretty weak script.

6/10

Barbarella (1968)

Barbarella psychedella! Barbarella is not a great film by any measure of the imagination, but it's a fun and groovy masterclass of camp. From the opening sequence (Jane Fonda undressing in her shag-carpeted space ship with bouncing animated titles) to the climactic battle, the film is packed full of colorful psychedelic effects, a swingin' lounge-psychedelic soundtrack (if such a thing can exist) by Bob Crewe and Charles Fox, and plenty of opportunities for the very sexy Jane Fonda to be in various states of undress. The plot is pretty thin: Barbarella is dispatched to find Durand Durand... and that's about it. The film is juvenile and doesn't really make sense, but that's kind of the point. It contains enough absurd moments, goofy characters, costume changes, cheesy lines, self-indulgent oil-wheel projector cascades, and tongue-in-cheek humor to keep pretty much anyone's attention for ninety minutes.

6/10

Closing Credits Theme

Flash Gordon (1980)

Delightfully campy with a score by Queen. The art direction is probably the best aspect of the film and the special effects are commendable (the sheer amount of effects shots for 1980 is impressive). A thin plot, some terrible dialogue (apparently mostly improvised), and questionable acting makes this ripe cult film fodder, but ultimately, it probably isn't worth your time. That's unfortunate because I thought Max Von Sydow as Emperor Ming was casting gold.

5/10