Seventeen Moments of Spring (1973, TV)

The only Soviet television blockbuster that I know of, Seventeen Moments of Spring apparently was so popular when it was originally released that the crime rates would significantly drop when it was broadcast. It is still an annual staple of Russian television to this day--and I can see why. The show is less like a television production and more like a 14 hour film, with each hour adding to the maze of information and intrigue at a sprawling, sauntering pace. Seventeen Moments focuses on Stierlitz, a Soviet spy disguised as an officer in Nazi intelligence as WW2 is coming to a close. Stierlitz is a man who, because of his position, has to carefully use his reputation and wits to gain trickles of information and play the other Nazi officials into his hand (or against each other). In this regard, he is the antithesis of James Bond. Stierlitz is cunning and calculated, measuring every small action and speech against its potential consequences. He plans carefully and does not distract himself with womanizing or worldly luxuries. What's so fascinating about Seventeen Moments is that it does not depict the Nazis as evil caricatures, but rather as flesh-and-blood people, charming at times and ruthless at others, fearful of what will happen to them when they are inevitably defeated. In the world of Seventeen Moments, the ideological consistency of the Nazis has been whittled away by attrition, and the officers are all realizing it will soon be every man for himself. On the whole, Seventeen Moments of Spring lacks the flashy set pieces and action scenes of many western spy flicks, but what it provides is a slowly percolating, compelling, and suspenseful experience that is worth every second of the film it was printed on.

9/10

Licence to Kill (1989)

Timothy Dalton's second and final entry into the Bond series improves upon his first. When Felix Leiter is injured and his wife murdered by the drug lord Sanchez (Robert Davi) on the day of their wedding, Bond resigns MI6 so that he may get revenge. He is aided by an ex-Army pilot (Lowell) and Sanchez' girlfriend (Talisa Soto). Both Bond girls (especially Lowell's character) are more active and more intelligent than most of the girls during Moore's reign, and the other supporting cast members (Cary-Hiroyuki "Shang Tsung" Tagawa, Benicio Del Toro, Wayne Newton) were a welcome sight. Q gets some field operative work, but unfortunately he's relegated to chauffeuring. The production quality was very polished, and the technical work was top-notch. For a film that takes place on boats and coastal cities, I was pleasantly surprised the producers decided to skip out on the trademark snack-break underwater fight scenes. The weakest link was Kamen's score which basically sounded like generic 80s action music does Bond. Licence to Kill is grittier and darker than its predecessors, but still without its moments of wit and class. It doesn't quite jump out at you like the best films of the series, but it is well-made and entertaining.

7/10

Living Daylights, The (1987)

The Living Daylights takes the Bond series far away from the la-la land of shoddy rear projection and abundant stunt doubles and grounds it back into realism. Timothy Dalton's Bond is grim but not bad and not without a few moments of dry wit. The plot is standard grade spy stuff: defections, back stabbings, decoys, and other sneaky tricks. They throw in a subplot involving Afghan rebels, but it's not noteworthy. Actually, the story was pretty boring. I'm a big fan of both Jeroen Krabbe and John Rhys-Davies, but neither actor managed to develop their characters enough to stand out. They seem kind of half-hearted about the whole thing. The Bond girl, Maryam d'Abo, also seemed bored. She just didn't seem into it. Fortunately, the filmmakers decided against the tasteless wordplay and cheesy visual puns that plagued the Moore films and instead favored a more From Russia with Love-flavored tone that was lighter on gadgets and jokes. The stunt-work was impressive and there's a noticeable improvement in the limited rear projection work. The Living Daylights isn't a great film, but it's a huge improvement over its immediate predecessors. I don't understand all the hate towards Dalton's Bond. I thought he was pretty good despite the lackluster film surrounding him.

6/10

Kiss the Girls and Make Them Die aka Se Tutte le Donne del Mondo (1966)

Kiss the Girls and Make Them Die is a lighthearted spy spoof comedy in the vein of Dino De Laurentiis' other comic book outings in the 1960s (ie Danger: Diabolik, Barbarella). Matt Connors stars as American secret agent Kelly, working to uncover a hairbrained scheme to sterilize the United States by a grinning horndog maniac Conrad Veidt impersonator (Raf Vallone). The plot is rather similar to Moonraker, which didn't come out for another decade and a half. Connors is a bit boring, but he's okay. Terry-Thomas provides the comic relief--as if the film really needed any. As far as comic relief goes though, Terry-Thomas is as good as you can get, and I love him for it. The film plays out with tongue firmly placed in cheek, including some pretty childish gags--slipping on a banana peel, for example--but it kept my attention. The real star of the picture was the music by Mario Nascimbene which is equal parts bossa nova and '60s Italo-soundtrack. Kiss the Girls and Make Them Die is a comic book movie the way comic book movies should be made--fun first, questions later.

6/10

A View to a Kill (1985)

Roger Moore's final attempt to destroy the franchise almost succeeds in A View to a Kill. Not even Christopher Walken's presence can provide any relief. Walken plays Max Zorin, an insane but enterprising businessman who wants to eradicate Silicon Valley so that he can create a microchip cartel. But for some reason he starts by rigging horse races. We spend the first HOUR investigating horse-race doping until we finally get into the main plot. I zoned out for over half of the runtime. Occasionally, a stunt here or there would be impressive, but I was so tired of obvious stunt doubles and bad rear projection that I just didn't care. Roger is at his eyebrow-waggling zenith and it's more irritating than ever. In no other Bond film have I rooted for anyone to lodge a bullet into Bond's head. They had a few good chances, too! Grace Jones is terrifying, and the other Bond girl--Tanya Roberts--is worse than Denise Richards (!). I could go on, but I think I can safely say that A View to a Kill is the worst Bond film ever made.

1/10

Skyfall (2012)

Daniel Craig returns for his third installment in the new Bond series, and the brute's been smoothed out a bit. Humor makes a welcome return to the franchise, and they've toned down the shakiness of the action scenes. The filmmakers strike a balance between the epileptic style of the first two Craig films and the more polished style of the films preceding them. The film is very playful, with some almost Pierce-ian banter and cute nods to past films. At first I was slightly apprehensive about delving into Bond's past, but the execution was tasteful. Javier Bardem's villain was amazing--he really knocked it out of the park. Both Bond girls were attractive, but I didn't think they added much. I'd say the music was the weakest link: John Barry's music is so iconic and distinctive to the franchise, I don't know why the producers don't want to own it. Instead we have a kind of middle ground generic Bond soundtrack with brief homages into Barry-esque sound. Great film. Best of the Daniel Craig films so far. Go see it.

8/10

PS: For God's sake, put the goddamn gunbarrel sequence at the beginning of the film. 

PPS: The title animation was pretty good. I thought Adele's theme was good as well until the chants came in. What is it with chanting in pop music these days?

Danger: Diabolik (1968)

Charmingly cheesy, Danger: Diabolik is an Italian comic book movie produced and directed by schlock masters Dino de Laurentiis and Mario Bava, respectively. Diabolik (John Phillip Law) thwarts the police force every step of the way as he heists all sorts of goodies--$10 million, an emerald necklace, and a 20-ton ingot of gold!--for his gorgeous girlfriend and sidekick Eva (Marisa Mell). The production is quite lavish, employing a plethora of neat camera tricks, grandiose set designs, and elaborate matte paintings. The score by Ennio Morricone rips through the film, with acid-drenched guitars and the loungey yet somewhat Bondian theme song "Deep Deep Down." The combined efforts of Bava, de Laurentiis, (and Morricone) result in a very stylish, garishly colorful, and fun outing. But as is the trend with Bava, style takes precedent over substance. Despite all of the great music and visuals, the acting falls pretty flat, not aided whatsoever by a sometimes dubious dub and a pretty weak script.

6/10

For Your Eyes Only (1981)

I'm going to skip Moonraker for now. I'll get to it later.

Roger Moore returns for his fifth outing as James Bond. The plot is boring, the henchmen are boring, and the Bond girls are boring. Fortunately, the stunts and action scenes are really great. Bond certainly skied a lot during Roger Moore's run, but this time we've got spiked-tire motorcycles in hot pursuit. Bond scales a mountain to get to the fortress at the top. Bond swims in yet another set of underwater scenes. Roger Moore is bearable here, maybe looking a little wrinkly, but he is supported by some good actors: Topol and Julian Glover. The Bond girl Melina is striking, but there's not really any chemistry there. The blonde ice skater protege is probably the single worst Bond girl in a film, but I don't think she really counts. Although the music by Bill Conti was grating at first--Rocky does Bond--it grew on me. It's not a great Bondian soundtrack, especially not with that horrible Sheena Easton theme song, but it's pretty fun. Altogether, a pretty enjoyable flick.

6/10

Spy Who Loved Me, The (1977)

The Spy Who Loved Me is a slight improvement over the previous installment--Bond's character is a little less inconsistent and the film is a little better executed--but I feel the film is a hollow imitation of From Russia with Love. Bond is sent on a joint Anglo-Soviet mission to discover what happened to two nuclear submarines that were stolen from both countries, partnering up with a wide-eyed Soviet spy played by Barbara Bach. Unfortunately, her acting is unbearable. The 70s are in full swing here, and they don't treat Bond well. Flared tuxedo pants, tacky cars, and a wakka-wakka 70s TV soundtrack mar the film. The puns are embarrassingly bad. The villain is kind of lame, but his base is pretty cool. The special effects are executed quite well, with some really fantastic miniature work. The best part of the film is Richard Kiel's Jaws--cheesy but menacing, indestructible but not yet the caricature he became in Moonraker.

5/10

PS: I can't help but wonder why the far more attractive Caroline Munro was not given a more significant role in the film.

Superargo contro Diabolikus (1966)

Cheesy but highly entertaining pulp spy film from Italy. Superargo is an ex-wrestler turned spy with amazing super human powers. He has to face off against Diabolikus before Diabolikus can enact a half-baked Goldfinger-esque scheme to flood the market with gold (that Diabolikus has created from mercury) causing economic chaos. While the film contains a lot of logical gaps and lapses in continuity, the sheer cheese-ball factor of everything is charming enough to keep the entertainment levels high. Superargo has to face everything from bullets, gas, freezing cold, being cooked alive, and more! The score by Franco Pisano blares confidently throughout, mixing the bombastic Bond brass with an Italian lounge sound. Hats off to Darrell Brogdon for a fun Cinema A Go Go.

7/10