Big Gundown, The aka La resa dei conti (1966)

The Big Gundown is often considered the best non-Leone western by spaghetti western experts, and I'm inclined to agree. The film is slick and stylish, with an excellent performance by Tomas Milian and a solid one from Lee Van Cleef. Jonathan Corbett (Van Cleef) is a bounty hunter reluctantly wooed towards politics by a fat cat. After clearing the county of criminals, he takes it upon himself to hunt down Cuchillo (Milian), who is accused of raping and murdering a young girl, but Cuchillo proves to be a bigger challenge than Corbett anticipated. The Big Gundown paces itself slowly until everything comes to an epic showdown (the big gundown!) during the final moments of the film. Just like Once Upon a Time in the West, the ending makes everything worth it. The climax is multiple "hell yeah" moments that compound on top of each other. It was that cool. The buildup was never boring, but it also wasn't particularly noteworthy either. I did enjoy how the religious characters were portrayed not as idealistic fools, but rather trying to get by like the rest. Another interesting inclusion was the Austrian sharpshooter and Von Stroheim look-a-like. The film teases this guy's ability from beginning to end, and it pays off. Finally, Ennio Morricone's score is excellent as usual. I think this particular score is a bit overrated and doesn't stand well on its own like The Great Silence (the other best non-Leone spaghetti western) or The Good, The Bad, & The Ugly, but nevertheless it supports the film quite well. The Big Gundown was a treat, and it makes me wish more spaghetti westerns were actually good films, and not just good as far as spaghetti westerns go.

8/10

Gorgon, The (1964)

One of the finest Hammer Horror films, The Gorgon tweaks the formula and adds a shade more depth to the usual Hammer fare. Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing star, but their roles are reversed--instead of Lee as the heavy and Cushing as the kindly protagonist, Lee plays a kind of swaggering sleuth/professor and Cushing plays a jealous doctor protecting a dark secret at all costs. The German town of Vandorf has been plagued by a series of mysterious murders over the last five years that none of the townsfolk want to acknowledge. The victims are all found turned to stone. An investigation by unwelcome outsiders reveals that the spirit of a mythological Gorgon roams the surrounding forest, and they must discover how to destroy it. What gives the film its layer of depth though, is the way the relationships of the characters play out--an entire town colluding based on fear, two family deaths leaving one son left, a tragic romance. It's not that these are all deep threads within the film, but they add something to it, a bit of tragedy and ambiguity perhaps that is lacking in many of the ol' good vs evil romps that Hammer was known for. The medusa-head effects, infamously criticized by Christopher Lee, are pretty terrible, but that's really the only negative. The remainder of the production is very polished. A top-notch, enjoyable adventure from Hammer. If nothing else, watch it for Cushing and Lee together.

8/10

Quatermass II aka Enemy from Space (1957)

Professor Bernard Quatermass returns for the second of three films by Hammer, and it's a minor improvement over the first film. Not only is Donlevy's performance as Quatermass smoothed out, the production values and storyline are both refined. After nearly sixty years, the plot seems like a rather cliche variation on the body snatcher premise, but considering its contemporaries, I'd say Quatermass 2 does a fairly good job keeping it fresh. Quatermass encounters a woman rushing to the hospital after her boyfriend got burned from touching a meteorite. When he returns to his research base, he discovers that his aides have discovered a barrage of meteorites in the area. Further investigation reveals mind control, a government conspiracy, a mysterious factory base, and an alien plot to take over the world. Quatermass is not as rushed and forceful in this film as in the previous installment, but he still sticks out as the brazen American among an all-British supporting cast. He lacks the compassion of Andrew Keir's characterization of Quatermass, my personal favorite. Val Guest manages to keep the tension high and budget from showing. The special effects department pulled off some good work involving matte paintings, puppets, miniatures, and some almost undetectable composite-work for 1957. The film feels familiar because the plot structure doesn't differ whatsoever from the first (or the third film, really), but it's a slightly more involved and polished outing this second time around.

7/10

Conan the Barbarian (2011)

YEEEAAAARRRGH! The how-is-this-not-direct-to-video remake of John Milius' 1982 sword and sorcery staple is mind-numbingly bland, a miserable combination of "cool" action and no character development. If you like seeing people get gutted, stabbed, sliced, punched, smashed, flipped, burned, or any number of other methods of dying at the hands of a character-less slab of meat, then this film is for you. The plot isn't much different from the original 1982 film in that it's a basic fantasy revenge plot, but the devil's in the details. The '82 film, while not perfect, posed some questions regarding morality, strength, and the philosophy of war. Not only that, the '82 film had fantastic sets, crunchy action sequences, a fascinating villain, and a masterpiece of a film score. Even if I stopped comparing this to the original film, Conan '11 fails to live up to even the basic standards of filmmaking. There is not a single aspect of the film that could be called "redeeming." Not even the only thing it focused on--the fight scenes--could be called noteworthy. I was so unimpressed and bored by this film that by the end, I was making "think checks," asking myself if I had thought anything about the film in the last few minutes. I thought Silent Running was pretty bad, but at least I was thinking about something during it. Conan the Barbarian '11 made my mind blank harder than I think it has in years. Stay away.

2/10

Silent Running (1972)

Silent Running is one of the most boring, abysmal films I've ever seen. An attempt at cerebral, psychological science fiction, it drifts along at glacial pace, lacking the elegance of something like Tarkovsky's Solaris and ignoring important elements like plot. The film starts off by introducing us to four unlikeable characters (Bruce Dern included), then fists an environmentalist message down our throats so hard I had ham coming out my ass. Dern and crew are ordered to leave ship and blow up their biodomes for no reason at all--a mystery that was never resolved. Dern, a curmudgeon, refuses, kills his crewmates, and steers the ship away into the outer reaches of the solar system. The problem with the film is not its politics, it's the lack of anything interesting happening. Character motivations are shallow and underdeveloped, the dialogue is painful, and you're given absolutely nothing to work with mentally. The main question I had throughout the entire film was not about the details of the plot but rather about what the plot actually was. I cared little about Dern's actions, motivations, or mental state. I found his acting to be awkward and hammy and his struggles to be inconsequential. I think maybe the film was so boring because Dern's character was so bored--he did barely anything the entire time. The special effects are often praised, and for 1972 they are good, but they're just not good enough to warrant sitting through this messy, monotonous trash.

2/10

Batman & Robin (1997)

Batman & Robin is the final nail in the coffin for the 1990s Batman franchise. Is Batman & Robin watchable? Barely. Is it good? Certainly not. The film is an embarrassing mess, with overacting and obvious attempts at camp plastered all over the screen to the point of making you cringe yourself inside out. Instead of a Batman film, it's more like a menagerie of Batman characters (Batman, Robin, Batgirl, Mr Freeze, Poison Ivy, Bane) strung together into a two hour commercial. Speaking of which, two hours was way too long to sit through this train wreck. At 80 minutes, I thought the film was about over until I realized with horror that 45 minutes remained. The script is absolute shit, with pun after miserable pun fouling the air. This is particularly bad with the villains--Schwarzenegger's Mr Freeze and Uma Thurman's Poison Ivy must crack a joke every other line. Thurman puts on a Hepburn-esque accent in an attempt to be sexier, I guess, Clooney phones it in, and Chris O'Donnell was always annoying. Alicia Silverstone contributes nothing but awkward padding. Really, the only bearable performance was Michael Gough's Alfred, but on the whole the film was difficult to watch. Posh production values and great special effects failed to soothe the pain. Do I regret watching it? Not really, but I'm not proud either.

3/10

Von Ryan's Express (1965)

As far as 1960s World War II adventure flicks go, Von Ryan's Express is typical. Frank Sinatra stars as an American pilot who is put into an Italian POW camp with a bunch of British soldiers. The Italians surrender leaving Sinatra and friends to fend for themselves miles from Allied territory. After some mucking about, they hijack a prison train and head for the border. The interesting thing is that Sinatra's character makes big mistakes. He's sometimes too reckless, sometimes too trusting, and the consequences for his actions come back to bite him and his men. None of the characters really developed much beyond that, but the way they surmounted challenges was fun to watch. Like most of the "boys on a mission" films in the 1960s, the film doesn't dwell on the travesties of war but rather focuses more on the action setpieces, stunts, and other obstacles. The film doesn't really dwell on anything at all, actually. It's a briskly paced action movie (for the 1960s) that has great moments of tension and suspense, some good action scenes, and that's about it. Jerry Goldsmith's score is excellent and you can hear early examples of the First Blood soundtrack running throughout. Overall, it's a minor war/adventure effort that's well-paced, well-acted, and worth a watch if you're in the mood.

7/10