Octopussy (1983)

Roger Moore's sixth outing is hardly worth mentioning as it contributes nothing special to the franchise. The story is lame, the dialogue is lame, the stunts are lame, the theme song is lame, the gadgets are lame, the villains are lame, the girls are lame, and the Indian setting is borderline insulting. Everything is LAME. Old creaky bones Moore limps his way through India trying to follow the nefarious scheme involving jewels and nuclear bombs. Maud Adams returns to the franchise--heaven knows why--as Octopussy. Speaking of which, who nicknames their kid Octopussy? Every time anyone said "Octopussy," I was embarrassed for the actors. The film is not quite as inept as Man with the Golden Gun (the other Maud Adams Bond film), but it's not good. The film isn't even well-made from a technical standpoint since they had to edit around Moore's lame-o fight scenes and stunt doubles. But the biggest problem is that there are no stakes and no suspense to counteract Moore's foaming mouth-shit and eyebrow waggling. Octopussy is bad camp and utterly boring.

4/10