Saturday, March 3, 2012

Death Warrant (1990)


Death Warrant is an average entry into Jean-Claude Van Damme's filmography. Van Damme plays a cop who, on behalf of some crooked politicians, goes to prison undercover to investigate a string of murders that have taken place. As usual, he duck-walks his way through the picture, mumbling his lines in short heavily-accented phrases, and slings roundhouse kicks like they were the prison cafeteria special. At first, I thought they managed to hide that goose egg on his forehead, but I was sadly mistaken. The main villain (of several) is The Sandman, a menacing, ugly, and virtually invincible serial killer--but he talks too much. The murder method of choice was to "spike" the prisoners through the head, but when Van Damme says it, it sounds like "spank"... which I think is highly appropriate for a Van Damme prison film.

6/10

PS: For you avid Jean-Claude Van Damme fans, JCVD does get naked, but there are no gratuitous ass shots or split kicks. Sorry.

PPS: The girl-partner tells Van Damme at one point, "You're getting wet." He was standing in the rain at the time. It sounded like it was loaded with innuendo. I don't know what she meant.

PPPS: This just in: Death Warrant is actually a Cannon Film! I love Cannon Film!

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