"Kolchak: The Night Stalker" (1974-5)

"Kolchak: The Night Stalker" is a television show from the mid-1970s that was basically the prototype for The X-Files. The quality of the show's writing and directing was pretty spotty overall, but the good episodes are quite fun. Darren McGavin plays Carl Kolchak, a wise-cracking quick-thinking Chicago reporter with a penchant for attracting supernatural phenomena. Each week he discovered a new monster/myth haunting Chicago. He tackled all kinds of things from vampires and werewolves to manifestations from the subconscious and a headless ghost on a motorcycle. Sometimes the resolutions were cop-outs (that damn camera of his saves him on multiple occasions as a spur of the moment thing), and other times the special effects were just too terrible to excuse (the lizard man in the final episode). The last quarter of the show took a serious hit in quality, but by then I think the production was falling apart anyway. Overall, a very fun show that I wish was held to a higher standard of quality.

7/10

Vampire Lovers, The (1970)

From Hammer Horror comes the first installment of the Karnstein Trilogy, a trio of films revolving around lesbian vampires. Ingrid Pitt stars as the beautiful Carmilla, a vampire with a lust for young women. She exudes a kind of predatory evil over everyone she haunts in the film. The young women she seduces are both silly airheads who can't act (sometimes to a painful degree). Peter Cushing is in the film for a little while, but the film focuses on the events that happen while he's away. The plot is not all that original, but the twist of lesbianism makes it fun/interesting enough to keep watching. Sometimes the film teeters on the edge of softcore porn, but it never makes a complete step in that direction. What's most disturbing about Carmilla is that she can bring both men and women under her spell, effectively giving her the ability to control an entire household. The film establishes the family of Karnsteins as what I hope will be a very interesting spine for the other two films.

6/10

Haunted Palace, The (1963)

From B-movie production company American International comes The Haunted Palace (1963), directed by Roger Corman and starring Vincent Price. Based on the HP Lovecraft novella The Case of Charles Dexter Ward, The Haunted Palace is chock full of delicious gothic set pieces and some great necromantic sorcery. What stood out immediately was the color palette: bright blues and dingy browns but most distinctively was the hint of brilliant, sickly green that just oozes evil. Vincent Price gives a performance that is somewhere between pure evil and hammy (he seems quite comfortable with those kind of roles). Debra Paget is gorgeous as his wife. The supporting cast includes mediocre performances from Lon Chaney Jr. and Elijah Cook Jr, among others. Surprisingly, the budget doesn't show through much. Corman maintains an ominous atmosphere and peppers in a few nice shock moments. The film dragged a bit towards the end, but it's definitely worth a watch.

7/10

Robocop (1987)

A man trying to serve the people is killed and resurrected from the dead. Sound familiar? As director Paul Verhoeven puts it, "Robocop is like American Jesus. Except American Jesus has a gun." Is Robocop the Greatest Story Ever Told? Possibly. Not only is the film one of the finest action films ever made, it's also a brilliant satire of American corporations and consumerism. Weller turns in an inspired performance as an officer ruthlessly murdered by a gang of thugs (Kurtwood Smith's performance is also noteworthy) that is resurrected as a cyborg cop. Verhoeven's direction is quite energetic, with a pace that never lets up. The stunts and explosions are all top-notch as well as the makeup (Rob Bottin) and stop-motion effects (Phil Tippett) which are integrated perfectly. Basil Poledouris' score is a great combination of synth and percussion combined with gentler sounding strings representing Robocop's internal identity struggle. Robocop is a very clever and fun action film that can be viewed as either a thought-provoking satire or a silly explosion-a-minute action movie. Or both. A must see!

10/10

Demolition Man (1993)

Demolition Man is a stylish action sci-fi film starring Sylvester Stallone, but its downfall is that it can get really annoying. Serial killer Simon Phoenix (Wesley Snipes) and pursuing cop John Spartan (Stallone) are both entered into cryo-prison in 1996. Thirty six years later, Phoenix escapes on a parole hearing, and Spartan is thawed out to go after him. The action scenes are really well done, and the special effects are fantastic. Stallone and Snipes both turn in really entertaining performances. The problem is the utopia society they've woken up to: it's a society of wimps. The "future" dialogue is unbelievably cringe-inducing. I understand the filmmakers were aiming for satire, but good god was it annoying! To add to this ilk is Sandra Bullock playing a cop whose eagerness is equal to how annoying she is. Demolition Man is flawed, but if you can get past the annoying utopia and terrible dialogue, then it's really quite fun.

7/10

PS: Rob Schneider